The Art of Happiness at Work

For the past few months, I have been whining to my mother how much I need a job after I graduate. I keep telling her that I NEED a job, not want a job. I call her a few times a week and start off the conversation with…

“Ma..if I don’t get a job when my visa expires, you have to ask your husband to get me one. Any company. Anywhere. I don’t care. Ok?”

Then she’ll say…

“Ok ok. I get my husband, your father to get you one. Any company. Anywhere. You don’t care. Ok?”

I’m so worried that I’ll be an addition to the pool of jobless graduates in Malaysia. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to secure a job, any job, any company, anywhere. Of course when I say any job does not literally mean any job. It means a job suitable for my qualifications and my personality. A job which would bring me some cash, some security and some consolation to my parents; for them to see that their daughter studied for so many years and sucked up all their money not for a reason and for a good reason that is.

*******************************************************

I’m a natural worrier. I worry for nothing and I admit that. I can’t help it but worry, worry and worry. I worry for the slightest things. Deep down I know that I won’t be jobless. I know that I don’t even need to ask my mother’s husband to get me a job because her husband i.e. my father will get me one eventually when he sees me bumming around the house and swatting the flies.

Our conversation always ends up to my mother mentioning this book…

“The Art of Happiness at Work” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

She keeps telling me to get my hands on this book, read it and stop reading all those books about Mao and the Chinese Cultural Revolution. My mother knows my temper all too well. I am a fiery, hot tempered woman who will not let anything or anyone who did me wrong to pass me by as if nothing has happend.

But for the past few months, probably since March when she finally finished her first full-length adult book in probably 10 years and narrated to me chapter by chapter the virtues of working in an environment enveloped by politics and more politics, I have finally realised that no, nothing comes my way all the time. In fact, I have to please people before people can please me. I have to be accomodating and diplomatic. I have to be tactful. I can’t just tell someone to shut up just because he or she said something that I didn’t like ten times in a row. Just because my boss hates me, doesn’t mean I have to hate him. He may have had a bad day. His wife may be have been threatening a divorce. His children may have been disobedient the night before. Who knows? Patience is a virtue, my dear mother tells me.

*******************************************************

“Don’t blow your top all the time, girl. Must always give and take. Let them say what they want to say. You don’t like it, never mind. No need to tell people off. No need to go shut your ears and eyes. The Dalai Lama said everyone is entitled to their own comments. Always take it with a pinch of salt. The workplace will be more pleasant if you give and take.”

*******************************************************

Yes, mum. I know. I am trying to change and I can see some visible progress. Remember the last time I told you about my classmate who refused to do her part of the project and passed it on to me? I nearly wanted to scream and shout at her like I would have if you didn’t tell me about the Dalai Lama book. Instead, I kept my cool and explained to her. I showed a bit of my face but I held it back and put on a smiling more accomodating face and everything was alright.

Although this is not a work situation, it is akin to one. Next time I know, if someone says something that I don’t like, I take it with a pinch of salt. I won’t tell him or her shut her trap or close my ears or eyes in front of her. That is an action of a childish spoilt brat who thinks that whole world owes him or her a living. I will handle it diplomatically. I will politely say that I disagree and I will try to change the topic to something less sensitive.

Thanks ma for reading that book on my behalf and narrating every chapter so patiently to me. I have learnt so much from that. And yes, I will get my hands on that book and stop reading so much about Mao. But you can’t deny my passion for Mao and the Revolution. Same that I can’t deny you your Bloomberg and your grandchildren. 🙂

*******************************************************

So yeah… I may have a wonderful CV, coloured with a 2nd upper in Law, a Master’s degree, best achiever in every stage of my education and numerous extra curricular activities but what kind of worker am I if I can’t maintain a friendly relationship with my colleagues due to me being so hot-blooded? What kind of worker am I if I can’t even hold diplomatic conversations with my peers? How am I to withstand office politics and criticisms from my book if I can’t even take criticisms from my classmates and friends?

Ma…I will always remember what you said…

“Patience is a virtue, girl…”

---